Bit of Earth Farm

My first-ever crop of homegrown potatoes may have become someone’s magic mushrooms. 

 
I eagerly started out as a gardener with a patch of Ohio clay I turned over by hand. The potatoes I planted grew nicely all summer long. I cut the tops down when it was time but when I dug up my harvest what I found hardly resembled potatoes. They were tiny shriveled bits of spud mockery. They must have grown only slightly toward potato size before curling in on themselves in a remarkable imitation of exotic dried mushrooms. After they sat on my back porch for a few days in the sun, taunting me, I thought I’d take them to show my father. He grew up on a farm. Surely he could tell me what had gone wrong. Or at least get a good chuckle at my gardening abilities.

 

 
I put a handful of that “harvest” in a plastic baggie on the passenger seat of my car. On the way to my parent’s house I stopped at work to pick up my check and lingered a bit to chat with co-workers. When I got back to the parking lot I discovered that my car had been broken into. Strangely they’d taken nothing. 

 
But by the time I got to my parent’s house I realized the thieves had stolen something after all. The baggie was gone. Perhaps my potatoes-gone-wrong provided someone with an unexpected trip. Perhaps a less than wild ride that left them longing for colcannon, pierogis and knishes.

This year I’m planting potatoes again. I read a wonderful post about growing potatoes in containers last fall at Living the Frugal Life. Here’s our attempt, step-by-step, with some modifications. I’ll update at harvest time. 

First, obtain food grade buckets. The bakery department at the grocery store in town saved them for us. They get frosting and mixes in these buckets (the ingredient list still on the label is enough to horrify even a die-hard processed food eater). I'm not a fan of growing or storing in plastic, but I'm comforted to realize that at least we're repurposing these containers. 

 

We have 22 of these five gallon buckets. That seems sufficient for the 2 lb bag of certified organic Rio Grande Russet seed potatoes I have on hand.

Drill drainage holes in the side or bottom of each bucket. As an experiment, I drilled 6 to 8 holes in some and fewer in others.

Shovel clean stone in a thin layer on the bottom of the bucket for additional drainage. You may not find that necessary. We usually have a very wet spring here in Northern Ohio.

I understand potatoes like to grow in sandy, loamy soil. That's something we don't have. And because I think of dirt as full of life, I'm not about to trot off to buy sterilzed potting soil. So I'm planting these potatoes in what we have in plentiful supply around here---well rotted cow manure. It may be too rich or unbalanced in some important way, but for these potatoes, it's what's for dinner.

I fill each pail about a third to a quarter full, then tuck a seed potato in each bucket down the requisite three inches. Being me, I offer up encouragement to each potato as it's patted into the soil.

Then I soak up water from the pond to thoroughly dampen each bucket, something I'll be doing every day it doesn't rain around here.

Now if I understand potato-growing correctly, as root nodules sprout the plant needs to be covered by additional layers of dirt. This stimulates more root growth, resulting in more potatoes. It also protects growing potatoes from the sun, which can make them inedible. So I’ll continue adding loose soil, nearly reburying the growing plant each time. Eventually the bucket will be topped off with dirt, the plant will be growing right out of the top and the bucket will be brimming with potatoes. I think I’ll keep encouraging my potato plants too. I’ve read estimates of 10 to 25 pounds of potatoes per pound of seed potatoes. 

Commercially grown potatoes are listed by the Environmental Working Group as one of the top foods to avoid unless purchased organically due to pesticide residues. 

It’s hard to find organic potatoes around here. I hope to find more space in my ever-growing gardens for other varieties of potatoes, planted for later harvest. But for now, I'm happy to see those pails in the sun behind a little barn, like merry tubers-in-waiting. 




  Magic Mushroom painting courtesy of kaijakat

As humans get fatter and use ever more energy to remain comfortably numb, we seem to be losing our sense of irony. And our humanity. 

Latest evidence, cow-powered treadmills. 

Supposedly an eco-friendly source of energy production, this device invented by William Taylor of Northern Ireland traps a cow on a tilted non-powered belt. The cow slides down if it doesn’t continue to walk forward. As it walks the belt moves, spinning a gearbox that drives a generator which produces small amounts of electricity. A feed box at the front of this cruelty chamber, er Livestock Power Mill, supposedly motivates the cow.  

The May 2010 issue of Popular Science crows about the idea in an article titled “The Energizer Cow.” At first the piece alleges that most cows “mill around aimlessly in pens” but a paragraph later says “cows walk as many as eight hours a day while grazing.”  Apparently cows aren’t popular enough to qualify for more science in Popular Science. Confine any creatures (including science writers) in pens where they’re deprived of their natural activities and chances are you’ll see them “mill around aimlessly.”   

The device has a very modest energy output of “up to” two kilowatts, hardly worth Taylor’s pricetag of $100,000 for a 50 cow system. Popular Science envisions confining the world’s cattle as living generators. The magazine ends the piece with this exuberant idea: “If the planet’s 1.3 billion cattle used treadmills for eight hours a day, they would provide 6 percent of the world’s power.”

Sorry Popsci. Studies showing cows make more milk when they get exercise aren’t based on trapping animals naturally inclined to socialize with fellow herd members as they forage for the most nutritious plants in a grassland together. In fact studies indicate that a cow’s happiness, yes happiness as it can best be determined, goes a long way toward increasing health and milk output. 

Cows are perfectly suited to walk through pastures feeding on grass, converting this substance (inedible to humans) into protein-rich foods. Pastured cattle are environmentally beneficial for many reasons. The pasture itself reduces greenhouse gasses via carbon sequestration which more than offsets the cattle’s methane, especially when compared to feedlot animals. In fact pastures do a much better job of retaining topsoil, improving soil fertility and removing carbon dioxide from the air than cultivated farmland. Not to mention that grassfed cattle live healthier, more natural lives. It’s a win-win, easier on the environment as well as the conscience. 

For two-kilowatts, try a cheap solar panel. This technology doesn’t moo sadly as its calf is taken away nor smell the grass just beyond a lifetime of confinement. Try some humanity.